whenever I get a fortune cookie, I always think, "Now, I've gotta go back to work while some lucky bastard is sitting around writing fortune cookies for a living ..." and he's not even doing a very good job of it either."

Seems like they used to always be old proverbs, but now they are just stupid ... like "maybe you can live on moon in next century" or "tastes like chicken". Those are not even fortunes, I don't even know what you call those.